We left Amritsar, on the Pakistan border in the very early morning and embarked on the 6am Express train to Delhi (12 hours). The rickshaw took us from the hotel to the train station through the empty steamy streets and we could still hear the sikh punjabi prayers from the Golden Temple clutching the airs with devotion and sorrow. The skies felt dark and heavy above the high cutting peaks of the moghul mosques covered with black and white pigeons.
We crossed the Punjabi State, by train, and the sights changed as much as the weather. We left the forested cool air of the Hymalaia valley and its pixies, and came down to the hot pre-monsoon planes of Andra Pradesh.
After six months, and a complete all around tour of India we returned to our starting point, the subcontinent capital city: Delhi- the city of Djinns (spirits).

Like any return journey the sense of how cyclical is life also returned to me and with it the clear understanding of how much change occurs in such short, but intense, period of time.Not only did my perception of this amazing country was completely altered as my perception of myself was fully charged. It's with a sense of achievement that I declare this trip to have been the most wonderful I've ever done, and with the same assertiveness, I know it won't be my last time in Hindu/Muslim/Sikh/Buddha/Jain "stan"(land). My love for the sacred, ritual and spiritual enlarged as much as my absolute passion for curry, cicleshaws, bucket showers, indian toilets and decaying houses.

This country does not fit in any picture and still it's full of amazing ones: coloured or black and white, you choose. (I got some pretty amazing ones for those who want to share).
Perhaps in those pictures we can sense how old is this civilization and how historic is every step on it but its true beauty can't be described in any words and still this is a truly inspiring country for writing, and I've read here some of the best novels ever.

I recall more easily life in the west now, because I know I'm going back soon, and one by one, immages of London and Portugal return to my mind. It's as strange as remembering your body when you were a child and can seem as traumatic as birth recalls. It's a far faraway reality to me now, and the memory of it arrives to me in shaken, mistified,and most surely unrealistic projections.
Europe, which i now consider home, became like an old dream, and only in the last week I started thinking about it properly. No, I didn't miss it. I missed it in the sense of, oh, yeah let's go to the park, let's get a panini around the corner, let's watch some comedy on BBC, but that's about it, I'm afraid.
What does that mean?I'm not very sure.
It either reflects how empty was my life in London or how fully has been my life in India. Or how happy it's life without work!!!

The way I perceive my past is surely altered: home is an abstract concept to me, best represented by codfish and expresso; my friends (yes, you) feel so distant to me it's like we don't even know each other anymore, kind of like a jigsaw where both the player and the game are incomplete; and my family is like a tree, so high and hard to climb, I choose to remain in its shadow.
That's pretty much what I perceive about my outer reality. As a matter of fact that reality seems so vain and scattered, it's most probably an inexistent illusion.
Rather then that, it is now the inner reality that seems more clear, profound and solid to me know: the reality of dreams, emotions, will, mind, sensations.

Most of all I'm happy that I truly accomplished my aims in India. Not only I fully discovered this gem of a country, I feel myself blossoming with new skills and knowledge. I can now practice yoga on my own, sing and understand classical indian music, give a professional ayurvedic massage (just book it), cook a healthy meal, speak hindi tora tora, and even do a headstand!!!!!
It is with this small achievements that a new and confident self comes into manifestation.

With India, came the awareness of body and mind, the conscious of my emotional armour, the understanding of society, its rituals and religions.
In India I have lost my fear to meditate, pray and to believe; the fear to be positive and take a stand, even if with my head (!!!), the fear to sing and express myself freely, the fear to be a woman and succeed!!!

I would like to thank all the ones who helped me on this journey by reading my mails and giving their support- to all those friends who are spread all over this world a huge hug full of grateful love.
A big thanks to Beale Place who kept my stuff all the time so I could be here, specially Alison. Thank you to Arvind, my music teacher and to Swarga Yoga Center down in Kerala, thanks to Doctor Sybi who taught me that health is wealth and to all the people of India for making my trip so amazing, challenging and tasty.

Finally thank you so much to Jacqui for being there ALWAYS.