12 hours night train to Banaras- the city of light, knowledge and death.
Right at the center of Andhra Pradesh state, its importance rivals the beauty of the Taj, the markets of Delhi, the screens of Mombai.

Varanasi, the heart of India, the core of Hinduism, the "holy town".
On the train, I lay down with expectation and owe to the slowness of it all, certain of how amazing this journey through India has been happening to me.

- You Banaras going?- asks the passenger next to me.
- Yes, Banaras..
- Banaras! Banaras! Very special place. Very important. You from?
- Portugal.
- Portugal? (and to avoid more explanations, looking to his surprised face I just carry on: - ) - England.
- AaaaH! England! England! Very nice. Very good! Your friend?
- Also England.
- Also England. Very well. You together travelling.
- Haa. (yes, in hindi)
-Haa.Haaji ( ji is a form of respect in Hindi). Very good. very nice. Sisters?
-Friends.
-Friends, friends. Very nice. Very good.You, how old?
-25.
-25?Married?
- Not married.
-25? Not married didi (didi means auntie)?
-Haaji.
-Your parents?
-My parents Portugal.
-Portugal?
-Faraway.
-Faraway...(he repeated looking sad and disapointed) you very sad (he carried on). Very lonely, haaji?
- No, I'm ok. I'm european. europeans travel, always like this, no problem.
-No problem (he laughed a bit more happy). But very sad, didi: no marriage, no children, no parents. What are you, a christian?
-Well, not really- I replied.
- Well not really? What, no religion?
- Yes, that's right, no religion. (I tried to smile, to show him I was fine, but now was too late. He got up with the most sad face and devastated carried on:)
- No marriage, no children, no parents, NO RELIGION? Oh, my god, very sad ji, very sad.You Banaras going? You go down the Ganges and you clean your karma. All problem going after cleaning.Ganges, very pure river. Very powerful. You ganges going, washing, washing and you fully asking new karma, and everything going, everything changing in Banaras. Then new life coming: marriage, children, family. New good life, all life coming.Bhraman helping. You take flower, you take ghee ( butter in hindi), rice taking, giving to the Gods, always working, very good working. This is India, sister, The ganges is most sacred river, every time coming from the mountains, Haa? Himalaya coming, arriving to Banaras chchchchch, and in Banaras going in the other direction zhzhzhzh. You explaining.
- What?- I said- The sudden change of direction in the river currents?
-Haaji.
- I don't know.
- Don't know. You ji, school going, school teaching, good reading, good knowledge don't know. Me, don't know. No one knowing. This is magical power of the river. Magical power in India: Banaras!!!This why everybody going Banaras. Little baby, children hair shaving, hair giving to river, new life, good luck good karma going. Young girl, also young boy, Banaras going, asking good husband, good wife, good karma coming. Married people, single people also going, old people going, widows going, everybody going- all India in Banaras.
Really, Haaji, you seeing the peoples.
-The pilgrims?
- Haaji pilgrims. Many. Many. Going alive or dead they go. Some die on the way, some die there, some die before and family taking. In ganges we burn body, good good karma coming to family to spirit, no coming back, after burning in ganges, straight to Heaven, straight to the Heart of India, The Heart of God, The Ganges.
- Everybody?
- Everybody, but holy man, baby and pregnant women. That no burning. Just flowing.
In ganges flowing.Holy man, baby and pregnant women are pure, like Ganges, no need to burn.
-Haaji.
- Banaras will change your life. Always changes.
- That's where the river takes a different course.
- Different. very different. -he smiled, satisfied and really happy with my understanding.
And the train carries on while I look through the window.



I finally arrive to Banaras the day after, It's 45 degrees.
It's hot and dusty and we can't barely walk around. There's a strange silence within the noise of the city. We checked in a wonderfully beautiful old haveli, (room). The windows colourful glasses remind me of a little portuguese church and I sleep and rest in the AC room, like an angel.

The morning after I open the windows and lay in bed. The river is right there on my view. The stuffed dusty boiling air invades the room and with it come the insects, the smells of the Ganges, the noise of the cows yelling.

I feel like I am floating in the river while laying in bed, that's how well located the room is. I can see the people coming down the Ghats (steps) ringing their sacred bells, carring their flowers, ghee and incense in their little coconut baskets, the women's heads covered in lovely yellows, red, blue silks.
They arrive to the river wearing no shoes, they submerse their bodies in the very dirty water, in between the cows and buffaloes bathing, all the cow shit floating around, and the rest of bodies floating.

In the ganges all life happens: the women wash their cloathes, the men their cows, puja happens for pilgrims and locals twice daily, in the morning and at night, the kids play cricket, the older ones play in the water, couples hold hands, old people play cards. In the Ganges all life floats, right next to death.

In two of the more then twenty Ghats, dead bodies are carried. There they buy wood and simply burn the body.We saw the whole process of slow combustion, the body slowly disapearing in the fire. Sometimes families have not enough money to burn the complete body, so parts of it appear floating on the river, while we see the sunset on a late day boat trip of the Ghats.
Ups, there's a little head, you see? There's a foot...Look there's a whole goat.
How lovely!

But the most amazing is realizing how simple this life is. How strong mind beliefs can be. People believe and do get healed in the Ganges water, probably the most polluted river in the planet, full of garbage, cow shit, dead bodies. You want more bacteria?

I am certainly not washing my open wound in it! And another day passes. The river brings their life. In this water they wash themselves, cook their food, wash their goods, and burn their bodies.

The river, strong and large, changes direction and takes everything away. And everything goes, everything goes, even fear of death. It all seems connected, all feels like one same thing: life and death, water, earth...

I burn incense and take a shower in the Ac room to clean myself from the Ganges air.
And as my menstruation arrives I look at the blood coming out of my body and truly feel the cycles of life: everything begins and everything ends, everything passes, evrything flows, like the Ganges.

And then I sleep, and dream. And dream, and dream.